It’s illogical to be so bonded to a web browser you wouldn’t allow yourself to try another.

derblauensharpie: Tell your boyfriend to be more like Spock and less like a whiney person. o.o

So far, for Jewmas, I’ve gotte Hello Kitty knee socks, which I’m excited to wear, I’ve never had knee socks before. Hehe. I’m amazed that my parents remembered my current obsession is Hello Kitty. I also got a yellow rug for my bathroom, so I’m excited to take showers.

I marvel now on how I use to hate driving–how it use to be such work. But I like it, now that I’m finally alone. It’s like my own little time to be at peace, and have nobody around. Where I can think, without being bothered.

Blood fever.

derblauensharpie: You’ll swagger in, and the doctor’ll be like “The fuck? You’re a perfectly healthy horse, now get out of my office -feedbag-”

I can’t say that I’ve been obsessed quite like this in a very long time, since the days of Tom Riddle–maybe even since the days of Piccolo, if I dare. It’s… amazing. Oh Mister Spock. You sway me with your logic and your impassiveness.

Will says I’m in love, and I tell him, ‘How can I love a fictional character? How can I feel for a character–even remotely close to how I feel for you?’ Meanwhile, we both know full well that I don’t think Spock is just a ‘fictional character’ at all. He’s from the 23 century, oh yeees, he’s not yet born, see.
But he wouldn’t be able to make me laugh like you do.
And he wouldn’t be able to understand my illogical banters with you.
He just wouldn’t.
And yet I obsess. And you promise to dress up like him–you’d even go out in public like him for me.

I’m like a preteen, gushing over the stone faced impassive Spock, obsessing over every little thing about him, from his ears, to his eyebrows, to the faint smile to his dark eyes to his outfit. I simply can’t get enough of him! But…
Isn’t that so with all obsessions? I can’t figure out what’s so special about him that has me crazy for him.

But anyhow.

A few days ago, Liz, Will, Nicole–who was curled up on the couch with a headache, and I were setting up the fake blue tree. Will hates the tree with a passion, and glared at it across the room, with his finger in cold water, due to burning himself on the hot chocolate (Which resulted in him kicking a chair down and screaming angrily at it). Putting up the decorations, Liz and I found we have a common love—Spock. Will merely rolled his eyes at us.

So it took two Hydroxyz’s to get me to step foot out of my house. Going to the doctor? By myself? Oh no! Oh yes! I want to be more independant, I do. It’s just anxiety runs so much of my life, I dunno what to do about it. I can’t even get gas by myself. Or drive to school by myself–which I did today, ended up skiping math and going to Ihop with Wally and Eric. They treated me as a birthday present. Oh yay. I may be going across country this winter break with them. I dunno yet. I dunno if I wanna get a job.

I had a dream that pondarosa reopened. I guess I really miss working, this isn’t the first time I’ve dream about that place.

I feel as though my anxiety is getting steadily worse. I’m having trouble leaving my house–even to see Will. I don’t know why.