I’d go off and raddle on as to why I don’t like sleepovers–sure, Kaggy and I peed ourselves laughing silly, but when it comes to the sleeping part. I don’t, she can. I’ve been having violent nightmares again anyway.
And I was going to go off about the mall, and how I don’t understand how Snarf can go by herself. Frankly, I forget why I don’t like the mall till I’m there and the anxiety kicks up and makes me want to puke. I had ruined Will’s birthday dinner last weekend, I had a panic attack and failed to eat anything.
There are other, cheerful, things that I wanted to talk about until everything went into ruin and misery. The details, scattered. My mind working on overdrive, anxiety making me sick–for a brief moment, I’d dare say that sorrow is all I understand. I’m still trying to figure out how it all happened. It’s like, she has the ability to make us all cry. And for what? Because Will wanted a private moment with his mother? She caused all this ruin because it’s his birthday and she didn’t feel like she got enough attention?
I feel sick and I want to curl up and forget. Most of all, I want to comfort him.
I’ll go back. It started around, what, 3? Yeah. Bill, Will and even Liz told her, ‘You won’t like it, you’ll get bored.’ Bill put it more harshly, ‘You better not bitch or complain’.
Melissa of course she said she wanted to go. Then changed her mind and went out with her mother to get her eyebrows done–at 12? Really? At 4, she calls, ‘Mom says I have to go with you guys’, which, of course, is a lie, Liz had told her not too. She then demanded that Will pick her up.
At 5, we get to Bill’s house, hop in the truck, and drive to this amazing house with over a 100 people in it for a Superbowl party, where Will’s father is betting with–ah, boxes? Will and I aren’t into football, but love the tradition of it, love the food. It’s nice, we’re enjoying ourselves, actually. Outside–lord, they’re nuts, grilling in the snow–but the food was so fucking good.
Melissa gets their uncle, Ed, wrapped around her finger, clinging to him, crying, telling him that she just wanted this or that, complaining how she can’t stand it. She tries calling her mother, but her mother tells her to suck it up.
So Bill snaps, and at 7:30/8 he’s like, ‘Fuck it, we’re going home’, and we go back into the truck, and Melissa makes Ed walk her to the car.
And in the car, she says, ‘I’m not coming next week.’
Bill replies with a scoff, ‘Fine, honey, that doesn’t bother me, I’ll find something to do.’
She gets angry. ‘I have something to do!’
‘Alright, fine.’
‘I’m never coming to see you again!’
‘…Listen, honey, don’t just start talking bullshit right now. Stick to what you mean.’
‘YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT MY BIRTHDAY!’
‘Okay, if that’s what you believe.’
And she cries and cries. ‘I hate this family, I want my old one.’ Sob. ‘BUT THEY’RE DEAD.’ Lie. ‘You don’t understand what its like to be adopted, I don’t fit in with anyone!’
Will gets angry and snaps things at her, which she acts like she doesn’t understand what he’s saying. She cries and cries and cries and goes on about how hard her life is.
And all I could think was… No. No it isn’t. She ruined Will’s time with his father, she cries about nonsense the entire ride back to Bill’s house. For what? She got what she wanted, she’s out of that house.
And she doesn’t know the meaning of a hard life.
I know a girl whose father beats her, she has to be the parent, her little brother insults her, calls her a bitch, hits her. She goes to school, swear to fucking god, smiling. People don’t know the pain she deals with. She tells me when I worry, ‘My father brought me into this world. He loves me.’
I know people who go through pure shit and they never complain, they greet each day with a grin, telling me how maybe today it’ll be better. I know this girl who was raped by her mother’s boyfriend, and she still hasn’t said shit. She still goes on, she makes her life the best she can.
We finally get home, Melissa goes to her mother and cries about how her father never wants to see her again and how everyone hates her. We wait until she’s done–she goes to her room to watch TV, and we go into Liz’s room, Will sad that she had ruined his birthday–yet again.
We’re not two minutes into the conversation when she starts knocking and banging on the door and saying how she needs to talk to her mother about something important.
Liz says, ‘Let me just finish talking to Will.’
Melissa scoffs, ‘Fine how long will it be?’ As if Liz was holding her up.
‘When I’m done…’
Melissa curses and goes back to her room, a minute goes by and she comes back,
‘Just give me the password to your laptop,’ which she had stolen from Liz’s room.
‘Just let me finish talking to Will,’
And then Melissa starts crying and yelling and finally snaps, ‘I HATE THIS FAMILY’ and Will looses it, becomes livid, and gets up. I freak out and grab him–at this point, Melissa hears him getting up, screams and races down the steps and outside just as Will reaches outside of the room. He turns and says he only wanted to tell her to go away.
We’re all downstairs by now and the neighbores call, saying that Melissa was there and claiming that Will wanted to kill her, and had been hitting her, and being a detective, he was bound by law to call the cops. So Liz goes over to get her, Melissa screams, “I’LL FUCKING STAB HIM TO DEATH” and runs out into the night.
So Liz calls the cops.
For an hour, the cops are searching the streets with search lights–and two of them finally pull up the driveway.
Apparently Melissa was just next door crying.
One cop talks to us, and the other talks to the neighbor. That cops, after ten minutes, comes in to talk to us too–he says that Melissa was giving him serious attitude–like he couldn’t believe the amount of angry sass she had toward him, like it was his fault that Will wasn’t in jail yet or something.
I was amazed that both cops agreed that she was, “well… a brat“.
And this is where I stop.
Because it got so much worse.
And I don’t want to think about it.
And it was because… Melissa wanted attention. She even says, “Well, now I’m bored,” and wanted to go up to her room and watch tv while the cops were there.
Oh lord how it got worse.
