It’s illogical to be so bonded to a web browser you wouldn’t allow yourself to try another.

derblauensharpie: Tell your boyfriend to be more like Spock and less like a whiney person. o.o

So far, for Jewmas, I’ve gotte Hello Kitty knee socks, which I’m excited to wear, I’ve never had knee socks before. Hehe. I’m amazed that my parents remembered my current obsession is Hello Kitty. I also got a yellow rug for my bathroom, so I’m excited to take showers.

I marvel now on how I use to hate driving–how it use to be such work. But I like it, now that I’m finally alone. It’s like my own little time to be at peace, and have nobody around. Where I can think, without being bothered.

Blood fever.

derblauensharpie: You’ll swagger in, and the doctor’ll be like “The fuck? You’re a perfectly healthy horse, now get out of my office -feedbag-”

I can’t say that I’ve been obsessed quite like this in a very long time, since the days of Tom Riddle–maybe even since the days of Piccolo, if I dare. It’s… amazing. Oh Mister Spock. You sway me with your logic and your impassiveness.

Will says I’m in love, and I tell him, ‘How can I love a fictional character? How can I feel for a character–even remotely close to how I feel for you?’ Meanwhile, we both know full well that I don’t think Spock is just a ‘fictional character’ at all. He’s from the 23 century, oh yeees, he’s not yet born, see.
But he wouldn’t be able to make me laugh like you do.
And he wouldn’t be able to understand my illogical banters with you.
He just wouldn’t.
And yet I obsess. And you promise to dress up like him–you’d even go out in public like him for me.

I’m like a preteen, gushing over the stone faced impassive Spock, obsessing over every little thing about him, from his ears, to his eyebrows, to the faint smile to his dark eyes to his outfit. I simply can’t get enough of him! But…
Isn’t that so with all obsessions? I can’t figure out what’s so special about him that has me crazy for him.

But anyhow.

A few days ago, Liz, Will, Nicole–who was curled up on the couch with a headache, and I were setting up the fake blue tree. Will hates the tree with a passion, and glared at it across the room, with his finger in cold water, due to burning himself on the hot chocolate (Which resulted in him kicking a chair down and screaming angrily at it). Putting up the decorations, Liz and I found we have a common love—Spock. Will merely rolled his eyes at us.

So it took two Hydroxyz’s to get me to step foot out of my house. Going to the doctor? By myself? Oh no! Oh yes! I want to be more independant, I do. It’s just anxiety runs so much of my life, I dunno what to do about it. I can’t even get gas by myself. Or drive to school by myself–which I did today, ended up skiping math and going to Ihop with Wally and Eric. They treated me as a birthday present. Oh yay. I may be going across country this winter break with them. I dunno yet. I dunno if I wanna get a job.

I had a dream that pondarosa reopened. I guess I really miss working, this isn’t the first time I’ve dream about that place.

I feel as though my anxiety is getting steadily worse. I’m having trouble leaving my house–even to see Will. I don’t know why.

I’m glad I understood the context of that statement, otherwise it would seem much dirtier.

This Thanksgiving was one of the best Thanksgivings I’ve had in a very, very long time. Since the days that the whole family use to be together, and we’d play spy, or Mike, Dan and Ben would talk about girls and pat my head and say ‘when you’re older’. I miss my cousins, but Robin and John, their kids Dan and Alex, and of course Adury–but not so much her–are becoming family. There’s no seriousness, there’s no stifled laughter, it’s all…

Easy. Everyone talking at once, and I feel like I’m home. Will simply would not sit down for the life of him. Constantly getting up to help serve everyone, acting more like the woman than I was. And boy was there so much to eat, that the both of us were full a day later. Turkey, stuffing, sweet potato pie, mushrooms–oh lord, I can’t even go on, it was so mouth watering good. And the lasagna… Oh my god. Liz dropped the first batch on the floor–and everyone clapped. It’s not a Thanksgiving, they said, if you don’t drop something. Thankfully she made two. I would have died I couldn’t have had any. Ahaha.

The traditions have changed, and I had assumed all families were the same. Instead of sports being on, it was video games, and let me tell you I enjoyed the video games a whole lot more. Though secretly I miss the sports being on it the background. But this new life… it’s more lively and full of energy. And Lu was there! And the stories she had to tell got me laughing so hard.

And then Black Friday came. And I, claiming I didn’t want anything to do with it, turned to Will with big eyes and pleaded we go out. Luck he loves me, he said turning off FF9. He bought, surprise surprise Video Games, and got me a new wallet. I’m so pleased with it. Ahaha…

I wanna get closer to Jessie, but I’m unsure as to how to go about that. We’re like family, aren’t we? And Laura assures me that Jessie loves me. He asks about me all the time, she says. So there. He has a similar sense of humor as I do, and well. I dunno what or how to go about it.

Driving is much more fun than I had thought it would be. I guess I like it more since I’m alone, and I don’t have anyone judging me in the seat next to mine. Though I still drift to the shoulder. I tend to do that a lot. Eh.

My legs are getting worse. I can mind the pain while drivng, and while walking, but now they hurt when I lay down or sit. Just… they hurt. They burn. It’s usually my right leg/ankle that’s the biggest problem. I don’t know what to do about it. And I’m not so keen on getting more medication. And more, my week-long headaches are back. I mean, they use to be a lot worse than they are now, so I don’t really mind them as much, it’s just annoying.